How to begin or how to end? I've realized while on my life journey, that I'm constantly evolving. Nothing at this point has stayed the same from 5 years ago. My eating habits, my perception of the world, the way I see myself, and my truth. Even my physical body changes whenever it feels like it. I use to love things to stay the same but now remaining the same, feels like prison. I've grew to be comfortable, with being uncomfortable with changes in all aspects of living.
I use to eat so much processed food, meat (my mom never really cooked much pork though), and candy. As a youngin I did like fruit but didn't like vegetables as much. I ate vegetables when my mother would cook dinner. I looked at it as something, I had to eat, not something I really wanted to eat. As I grew older, I learned to appreciate and grow to love them.
When I moved from my hometown and moved out of state on my own. I began to experiment and cook for myself. I started off with buying a lot of frozen food then figured that I could try to make the same thing with fresh produce. At this time I started to buy a lot of vegetables, grains, fruit, chicken, turkey, fish, and shrimp and every once and awhile I'll buy beef. When I moved again, I started to read more on food and became aware of what I was truly putting into my body. I would go to the grocery store and be skeptical of everything in it, I would look at the meat with disgust but still buy it lol. I was slowly but surely changing food habits and in 2016 I transitioned to a pescatarian diet. I changed, to do what was best for me and my body. I still have weaknesses like chips, chocolate, cheese, crab legs, and char-boiled oysters. What I'm discovering now, is that I can love the foods that I love and be healthy, by also taking a healthier approach. I'm learning new things and it's exciting!
I use to see the world one sided, one view, and thought nothing of it. In reality there is more to life than my view. There are so many realities of folks going through their own demons, figuring out their calling in life, and making a better life for themselves and family. Everyone's reality is important and everyone's reality creates the bigger picture in life. I had to realize (still working on it) that when someone would talk about me, act negatively towards me, or lie on me...it really wasn't what I was doing, it was about how they felt about themselves or what they were going through for the moment. Nonetheless, it still hurt, but I knew that how I reacted towards them would affect me and not so much them. At the end of the day, it's about me protecting my sanity and energy. Every action doesn't need a reaction outburst. I know this but some days are harder to follow through without an outburst. I know this about myself and I'm working over time on this.
We are so disconnected in this great big world. I grew up with so much frustration and didn't know why, but now I have some clarity on it. We are running around on auto-pilot, because our living situation have programmed us to become constantly busy. When we are busy there are things that go passed us that we don't even notice. We must slow down, breathe, show self love, read, and really take in what's really going on around us. I feel that we are all connected to one another and to all living things. It's truly a circle of life.
First I believe in myself and that I hold the power to do what's in my heart. I know that my journey is my testimony and I also know that every single person has a testimony. I have the right to question everything, so that I can have an understanding. I'm not going to blindly believe in anything that comes my way. I'm constantly taking in, information from the world, that I have to figure out, is this what I'm truly feeling and believe or is it coming from subliminal messages that are all around me. I have to firmly stand my ground and constantly let my voice be heard. My ultimate truth is to know who I am and walk throughout life with that intact.